Sometimes victory isn't necessarily winning. Sometimes victory is simply coming out on top. Sometimes victory is recognizing the way that you can act instead of being acted upon, that you can be in charge and choose how to feel or not feel, that you can hold your head up and accept your situation. And you can recognize the humanity in it and in others. And you can even love it.
I had a small yet incredibly significant victory on Saturday night. Let's just say that I came out on top. After a somewhat difficult start that morning, I realized my choices and I worked and planned and took charge. I knew what I needed and that it was outside of myself, and I sought after it. I was magnified and enlarged beyond my ability and I loved it. My life hasn't changed in any dramatic way, but I feel changed. I feel light and whole and hope because of how I chose to approach a heavy situation. I feel victorious.Sometimes in my life, victory is achieving the end of my 34th year. I have celebrated for a couple of days now--I have some pretty incredible friends who have thrown me a birthday dinner, taken me out to dinner, brought flowers and cake, sent cards, given gifts, promised baseball games, sent facebook messages, and left voice messages... I even used a gift card from last year to get an incredible massage last night. I feel FULL.
The very best way I could think of to celebrate is to release this past year to the wind and to embrace my big 35. I got some helium balloons and write some notes--one to myself about the courage and sacrifice and charity I've learned this year. This is my way to celebrate and embrace. Here I go!