Monday, January 17, 2011

I have a dream...

Arches National Park, August 2010

Inspired by MLK's dream of hope, I choose to look past my headach-y, nauseated, nap-all-the-day-long, bitter cold outside. Here is what I'm dreaming of:
Labor Day, 2008
OBX. I love you. I crave your warmth and sea peace. And my tan when I'm there. If only you can promise not to get sand in my PICC line, can I come have chemo on your soothing shores?

My dissertation. I think I ran away from you for a long time because you were so unwieldy and at large, but now that I look at these pictures of my summer research, I feel you, deep inside of me. You are there, stronger than my impure blood, pulsating and waiting for my body to get well enough to shape and mold you. Oh my dears. I have so many dreams for you. Hold on. I'll be here. So will you.

Nauvoo Relief Society Minutebook, chapter 1
Relief Society banners, chapter 5
Relief Society halls, chapter 4

My sisters/grandmothers/great-grandmothers. I came from some good blood somewhere... and I have so many dreams for the future... so this dream is for my eggs, wherever you are and whatever shape you're in. Chemo can't kill ALL of you--we are too strong for that. We have so many things to do...
Jenny, Annie, Lisa, and various dolls
My grandmother--"GranNomi"--Naomi Foster Goodman
My great-grandmother "Granna"--Hattie Esther Williamson Foster

3 comments:

Lesli said...

I love you, forward-looking Jenny! You have much to do and it patiently, but eagerly, awaits your keen mind, gentle hand, and giving heart. You are getting closer every day. Hugs and prayers, Lesli

M said...

Oh Jenny, I LOVE these pictures! Your grandmas, so young and vibrant and just like us (w/o those rockin' long bloomers your GranNomi is wearing). You as a child (age 7?), wearing such a Jenny face I picked you out in an instant. And that trip to OBX, when we stayed on after everyone else had left. I remember that. The sun and surf and digging our toes into the sand on the beach and both of us doing our schoolwork. I crave that place too, and that weather and those memories. It is all ahead of you, friend!

ariangjohnson said...

Dreams do come true to those who keep dreaming! I love that your resolve is so strong and unshakeable. That word doesn't look like it's spelled right but you know what I mean! Love the pictures and YOU!