Sometimes you just have to take a deep breath. In. Out. In. Out. Because sometimes that pause, that moment, helps you realize that you're alive. That you breathe. That sometimes that's most important. And the rest isn't that bad.
That's what I did yesterday. Spinal tap number 5. Two more to go.
And I didn't even cry until after I got home, took a nap, and talked to a lady on the phone from the hospital who called, concerned that I am running up a huge medical bill and my insurance has stopped covering me. In. Out. In. Out. I'm alive. I'm ok. I'll figure this out.
I took down her address and mailed a letter this morning with a formal request for financial assistance (which I thought I'd done in November).
In. Out. We're alive. It's ok.