Last night I was grumbling to Kendall about a paper that seems to be swallowing me alive. I told him I was discouraged, to which he immediately sang:
"When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost
Count your many blessings, name them one by one
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done."
I laughed--particularly because both he and I stumbled over the words (it's hard when you start a song in the middle and not at the beginning)--but I realized he was right. So before I jumped head first into my paper this evening, I named one by one the things I am grateful for:
1. The man who opened the door for me when my diet Coke bottle exploded.
2. That diet Coke--some days it just does a magical work on me.
3. The sun--I think it was up to 70 degrees today and I loved soaking in the sun for a few minutes.
4. Not having anything to do at work--and my supervisor is out this week--so I could tackle my paper.
5. Having the inspiration of HOW to tackle my paper.
6. All the contacts I have at various archives--I emailed everyone I could think of for contextualization information for my paper. I have to smile when I think of them because I've had such great relationships with them: my Jewish South African Lyn at the American Jewish Historical Society, my fantastic adviser Peter at NYU, my great, funny, real friends Bill, Randy, and Chad at the Church Archives, and countless others.
7. Learning that I can have graceful endurance--as Elder Maxwell teaches in "Enduring Well."
8. Driving with my moonroof open, blasting Elder Maxwell on my Ipod.
9. Going on a walk with dear Jessica.
10. Lighting my cinnamon vanilla candle and letting the flame carry away my negativity.
11. Realizing the power of my own clinical material--that I can learn and work and heal and arise and be counted.
12. Kendall and his efforts to un-discourage me.
I love that by naming my blessings, I know that I can name and be named.