Soaring with the Eagles...

I seem to have a bird theme going.

I broke down and went to the dentist yesterday. I haven't had dental insurance since my NYU days but when I found this amazing promotional flier in the mail, offering a first-time visit, cleaning, and x-rays for only $59, I took it. It was regularly $400, and I'm all about a good deal. (Just on Monday I spent $17 at Giant and saved $10 on strawberries, kiwi, and those yummy SmartOnes frozen dinners. Yesterday I found this awesome 1950s wood captain-type chair at a thrift store for $9, and today I found Easter dark chocolate M&Ms at Rite Aid, buy one get one free, as well as some Retinol wrinkle cream buy one get one 50% off. And I'm headed to Gap Outlet with my 30% off coupon to see what they have on clearance.)

Of course they didn't tell me that the fluoride was an additional $40, or that it was really a promotion for their Invisiline treatment (which one day I would really really really like, because apparently I'm a prime candidate, and they can cut me a special deal without interest and the low monthly payment of $250 and are you serious? Do you really think I'm that gullible? After all, I'm a Ph.D. student on a budget, in this economy! I'm a thinker!).

But they also answered my question about my sometimes achy and poppy right jaw that sometimes doesn't like to open very wide. A careful examination of my panoramic x-ray revealed that I, my friends, have Eagle Syndrome.

Look it up your own selves. I did. It's true. Some ligament has completely calcified in my right jaw. Most side effects include popping jaw (yes), chronic sore throat (no), neck pain (no, but I do love me a good neck massage), and fainting (yes--come to think of it, I have fainted 3 times in the past 8 months). Apparently it can cut into the carotid artery if you turn quickly at the right angle. Who knew?!?

There's nothing really you can do--if it gets really bad, then maybe surgery, but there are a lot of crazy side effects.

In the meanwhile, I found some real neat eagle quotes:

• You can't soar with the eagles unless you're willing to take some risks
• If you stay up with the owls, you can't soar with the eagles
• You can't soar with the eagles if you're hooting with the owls
  
• You can't soar with the eagles if you're flapping with the turkeys
• If you can't soar with the eagles, you might as well root around with the pigs

I prefer these myself:

• Ye have seen... how I bare you on eagles' wings, and brought you unto myself (Ex. 19:4)
• They that wait upon the strength of the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint (Isaiah 40:31)
• He shall fly as an eagle (Jer. 48:40)

I'm counting on those promises. I've got much to do and miles to go and it seems to go so much more smoothly if you can fly...